| i actually decided to update...kind of. |
[11 Jan 2007|03:01pm] |
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i should probably start writing in this again.
it would probably make me feel a whole lot better to get a few things out, instead of keeping it in. no one will really be intrested in reading it anymore seeing as my last post was in 2005 but it would be a good thing for me.
a new year.
a new everything is how i am looking at it.
got out of a horrible "thing" with someone that should probably be shot in the face, but what can you do? you cant please them all. a certain someone has entered my life yet again and i am glad to be friends with him than anything. i enjoy his company... all the time. he makes me laugh, which i like... a lot. i just hope that maybe one day he will realize that i am awesome.
anyways, school starts next week. not too happy with that. but after this semester i will graduate with my associates in liberal arts and then my butt goes to michigan state ((hopefully))
ok i am done.
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[17 Feb 2004|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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i think i shall take the day off tomorrow and not go to school.
work on all my homework that i have been putting off and try to finish drawing my painting so i can finally start painting it.
i wish everything would go back to the way it was. i wish i could still have that person that use to care. it sucks crying over something like this.
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[17 Feb 2004|10:13pm] |
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stars fall in xx: i have tried.
stars fall in xx: if you want to recover this friendship then you can approach me. try to fix this. whatever this may be.
stars fall in xx: and if you dont...then its done and it will be fucking pathetic and it will hurt a lot. but im done trying to save this when it seems like the other person on the other end doesnt even care going to school and not saying anything to me.
barski 625: jesus christ like i dont have enough to fucking be worrying about
thats pretty sad. when your supposed friend says that. it seems like it doesnt even matter to her and that she has so much to worry about that she cant even fucking save this friendship. maybe now everyone wont think this whole thing is me. everyone will see that its not me who doesnt want to work things out its people like her who cant even approach me because there is too many other things to worry about. its like im this huge burden that she has to deal with.
im hurt and crying. because i lost a friend that i thought cared. made me laugh and was always there when something seemed to be wrong.
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[09 Jan 2004|10:07pm] |
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what is wrong with me? i am writing in livejournal?!?! i havent written in this thing for 21 weeks. its insane. thats when you know i am bored.
well i am definatly stuck in the house with the flu. i cant leave because the mom says, so in result of my boredom i have slept and watched tv for three fucking days. i have had no motivation to do any homework, which sucks because i have so many things due since i wasnt here for three days. if i fail my senior year it would definatly be because of the three days i was absent before finals. i have atleast 4 papers and i think 2 projects. this sucks.
i think i actually miss this. and my computer <33
well i feel pathetic. friday night at home. i miss people. Stevie T. came to visit me today before his eyebrow waxing and after, and whoa, might i add that he looks amazing. his eyebrows look better then mine. he looks so cute, and grooms up there in his forhead eye area region. good job stevie t.
and barski <3 my love came to see me tonight just for a quick few minutes. she gave me a get well soon picture of a bee with a polka dot knee. it definatly made me laugh. it was cute. she had to pick up kate from work so i we couldnt chat too long but its ok becuase we were on the phone the whole day anyways since she went home sick. feel better <3
and emily. she suprised me at hom with an arizona ice tea. it was very thoughtful, and may i say i was extremely suprised. the tea made me feel oh so better and thank you for thinking about me. it meant a lot.
eh. i think i am done now. i think this is all too much to handle. attention everyone. lydia has finally updated. not like anyone cares. but it took some time up.
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| boring boring.... sleep. |
[20 Jun 2003|02:17am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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| 4everugly | | Magic Number | 17 | | Job | Leader of the Free World | | Personality | Paranoid And With Good Reason | | Temperament | Best Not To Ask | | Sexual | If I Have To | | Likely To Win | Another Gold Star | | Me - In A Word | Genius | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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| its sad i have resulted to this... |
[20 Jun 2003|01:06am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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x. name = lydia.
x. gender = female.
x. birthday = february 12 1986.
x. piercings/where= ears. nipples. :/
x. tattoos/where = none.
x. height = 5'8.
x. shoe size = 9-10. big feet. only jenna understands.
x. hair color = brown now. tempted to dye it again though.
x. length = i dont know anymore. its always up in buns.
last...
x. movie you rented = vanilla sky. great movie.
x. song you listened to = right now. kelise.
x. song that was stuck in your head = i just heard beat it by micheal jackson. so that song.
x. song you've downloaded = right now. kelise.
x. cd you bought = emily bought me radiohead. <33 i dont remember the last one i bought.
x. cd you listened to = amnesiac. radiohead.
x. person you've called = emily.
x. person that's called you = emily.
Do ...
x. you want to live somewhere else = eh. yes.
x. you think about suicide = no.
x. others find you attractive = probably not. i dont blame them.
x. you want more piercings = yess. my labret. and tonge, maybe.
x. you want more tattoos = yess.
x. you drink = eh. occasionally.
x. you do drugs = nope.
x. you like cleaning = who does?
x. you like roller coasters = yess.
for or against
x. using someone = eh. do i sound like a bitch if i say for?
x. suicide = against. but some people should kill themselves, it would be a lot happier place if they did.
x. killing people = against.
x. teenage smoking = for.
x. doing drugs = for. whatever floats your boat.
x. premarital sex = for.
x. driving drunk = against. thats just stupidity.
favorite...
x. food = taco bell. <3
x. song = everlong, foo fighters. stand inside your love, smashing pumpkins. anything radiohead. that is a hard question. i have many.
x. thing to do = be around people. hang out in my basement with lauren, paige, steve, christina, ect. and making fun of the tv, play nintendo with emily. <3 going on dates with emily. having a non stressful day with derrick.
x. thing to talk about = i dont even know what we talk about. we can go from radiohead, to crap, to girls, to stupid people, to tampons. its weird.
x. sports = haha. me play sports? no.
x. sports to watch = hockey? i dont know.
x. drinks = coke.
x. clothes = tj's american eagle pants. i have fallen in love. <3 and a shirt. with my black thing <3333
x. movies = pulp fiction!!@#$%^&*
x. holiday = halloween. christmas.
x. color = purple.
x. scent = i like the scent of clean and fresh. like just got out of the shower. but um. if it has to be a scent... hm. girls - passionate kisses <3 guys - i dont even remember. its been far too long. coolwater?
x. band = radiohead. smashing pumpkins. foo fighters. <3
x. local band = uh. the chiodos bros. ettison clio. MADHATTER. but that doesnt seem to be looking up right now.
x. animal = giraffes@#$%^&* <3
x. day of the week = friday.
x. feeling = content. it never happens.
x. tv show = real world.
this or that...
.1. boxers or briefs / thong or undies? boxers. undies. thongs = bad idea.
.2. black or white? black. its slimming.
.3. in or out? in.
.4. up or down? up.
.5. sitting or standing? sitting. im lazy.
.6. rain or sun? rain.
.7. winter or summer? winter.
.8. fast or slow? fast.
.9. hot or cold? cold.
.10. soft or hard? hard.
what...
x. shampoo do you use = right now. pantene pro-v.
x. clongne do you use = passionate kisses <3
x. shoes do you wear = etnies. one has a hole in them. :(
x. are you scared of = being alone. not having anyone.
number...
x. of girls/boys I have kissed?: no comment.
x. of continents I have lived in?: two?
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: i dont know if i trust people enough.
*5 things you are wearing*
1. my rings <3
2. tj's pants.
3. ben's shirt.
4. socks.
5. glasses.
*5 things you are doing right now*
1. talking to emily. and jordan.
2. doing this survey.
3. listening to VH1
4. looking at the time.
5. thinking about my bed. <3
*5 things you ate in the last 24 hours*
1. chicken from Denny's.
2. peanut butter.
3. soup.
4. uh. marshmellows
5. ...fries.
*5 things you did so far today*
1. hung out with people.
2. sighned up for dance <3
3. took a shower.
4. talked to emily about stuff.
5. cried.
*5 things you can hear right now*
1. celine dion on VH1
2. my gum popping.
3. my keyboard.
4. the floor creaking.
5. nothing.
*5 thoughts in your head*
1. i need to get sleep.
2. why am i so confused?
3. my back hurts.
4. saturday night with christina and lauren. partay.
5. i miss being happy and giddy.
*5 things you look for when your picking a girlfriend/boyfriend*
1. i
2. dont
3. know
4. anymore
5. @#$%^&*(
*5 things you would like to do in your lifetime*
1. go to paris <3
2. have a job that i am happy with.
3. help kids. <3
4. live in a house and be on my own.
5. go to college. and party.
*5 famous people you'd have sex with*
1. bruce!#$%^&* <3
2. dave navarro.
3. the brunette from t.a.t.u. she is super hott.
4. the drummer from foo fighters. <3
5. gavin <33@#$%^&*( he seems like he would make love. not have raunchy hot sex with.
*Five things you love*
1. emily.
2. my friends.
3. radiohead. smashing pumpkins. <3
4. giraffes.
5. silver jewlery.
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[21 Apr 2003|04:30pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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LOOK LOOK LOOK! my new icon!!! adrienne made it for meeee
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[13 Apr 2003|08:57pm] |
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im happy.
and i feel good.
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| **LAUREN** <333 |
[29 Dec 2002|02:03am] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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allwehave is n0w: psttt
stars fall in xx: what...
allwehave is n0w: yo' momma.
stars fall in xx: no.
stars fall in xx: YO MOMMA
allwehave is n0w: cry me a rivaaaaaaaa, i'm micheal jackson
stars fall in xx: haha
stars fall in xx: CRY ME CRY ME
stars fall in xx: lauren
stars fall in xx: i have to tell you a secret
stars fall in xx: SHHHHHHHHH...
allwehave is n0w: ok ok
allwehave is n0w: go
stars fall in xx: you promise not to tell anyone.
stars fall in xx: no one?
allwehave is n0w: i won't!!
allwehave is n0w: hahah
allwehave is n0w: not a soul
stars fall in xx: its no a funny thing
stars fall in xx: shhh.. not at all.
allwehave is n0w: WHAT?!?!?
stars fall in xx: ok.
stars fall in xx: this is hard for me lauren
stars fall in xx: really hard
allwehave is n0w: ok lydia, just say it. you will be FREE
stars fall in xx: ok lauren.
stars fall in xx: *sigh*
stars fall in xx: i.
stars fall in xx: am...
allwehave is n0w: pregnant!
stars fall in xx: no.
stars fall in xx: YEA RIGHT! I DONT HAVE BOY SEX!
stars fall in xx: i am...
stars fall in xx: **BIG SIGH**
stars fall in xx: this is so hard.
stars fall in xx: ...
allwehave is n0w: gogoogg
stars fall in xx: im.
stars fall in xx: micheal jackson.
allwehave is n0w: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
allwehave is n0w: ........
allwehave is n0w: noooo!
stars fall in xx: shhh. you cant say anything
stars fall in xx: YOU PROMISED
stars fall in xx: i know i know.
allwehave is n0w: oh my god. does emily know?? i mean.. what will people think?!?!?
allwehave is n0w: this blows my mind
allwehave is n0w: you drop babies from windows
allwehave is n0w: you are.. WHITE
allwehave is n0w: you molest children!
allwehave is n0w: and in your later days, you make crappy music.
allwehave is n0w: what kind of person are you?
stars fall in xx: I DONT KNOW
allwehave is n0w: hahaha
stars fall in xx: I LOVE THE FEELING I GET WHEN I DROP THOSE BABIES
stars fall in xx: to hear there screams
stars fall in xx: and the molestation.. *sigh*
allwehave is n0w: ahhh shut up!!
stars fall in xx: i wish i could still do it. but i am under sservailence (?)
stars fall in xx: and i cant do taht to my children
allwehave is n0w: listen to yourself man, you need help!
stars fall in xx: even though i have tried
stars fall in xx: and.. I AM BLACK.. but i thought white people have mroe fun so i bleached myself.
stars fall in xx: and about my music.. THRILLER.. thats all i have to say.
stars fall in xx: i know. i do need help. but i hav tried
stars fall in xx: everyone denies me my right for help
stars fall in xx: oh and... YOU CANT TELL EMILY.
stars fall in xx: she doesnt know.
stars fall in xx: because. i have had a sex change after my last child was born
stars fall in xx: i was sick of being a man. I WANTED TO FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN!
allwehave is n0w: hahahhahah
allwehave is n0w: oh micheal jackson.
allwehave is n0w: i have to go to bed micheal, it's almost 2 am. what are you doing online crazy biznact?
stars fall in xx: im looking at kiddie porn.
stars fall in xx: what else would i do.
allwehave is n0w: good question.
allwehave is n0w: well, byyyyeeeeee!!!
allwehave is n0w: i loovee you micheal!
wow. good times. lauren is awesome. we need to hang out more. she is the funniest person ever. i <3 her.
im having a good night. i have had two good nights in a row.
last night = amazing.
and i think that if i am allowed to go up north, i think everything will be fine. no arguments. we talked and everything seems to be ok.
um. yeah. about to call emily soon. <333
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[26 Dec 2002|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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my new screename.
stars fall in xx
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[26 Nov 2002|07:42am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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What a way to start the morning.
i get up at 6:44... mind you that paige come around 6:45-6:50.
yea wow. i feel gross. i want a shower.
so today. i think plans go as follows:
-emily's house after school
-im going to take a shower
-GO SEE HARRY POTTER w/ Andy, Clair and Jon?
-maybe hang out with paige and steve (not sure yet)
-um. yea. dont know.
all i know is that i dont want to go home.
i have been really happy lately. its been good. she does stuff that really makes me want to melt. i cant stop thinking about her. we were both thinking last night that it seems that we have been going out a lot longer than 3 days. its weird.
i have to go i got in trouble. school seriously sucks.
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[16 Oct 2002|02:03pm] |
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i hate my computer. this stupid LEXPLORE crap that says that there is an error is pissing off my computer. so i called the gateway customer service people, and i was one the phone with this man for a half hour almost and we did so much stuff, but the damn LEXPLORE crap thing would still keep coming up.
so then the guy like broke my heart. he asked if i had recently downloaded KAZAA, and i said yes. well he told me that computers dont like that. well i also told him that i had morpheus. and he said that i had two music downloading programs that computers hate. so he made me delete morpheus and kazaa from my computer. :o( that is the saddest thing ever. i dont think i love anything more than i love music, and all of my files are gone. that is what i have been doing all day practically, is downloading music on kazaa, because kazaa is beautiful and has every single song. <3
yea so basically i have no more music files, and it makes my heart cry. i think i have decided to download kazaa again, but in a few days, so my computer wont be pissed off. because now i dont have morpheus, so if i just download kazaa maybe it wont make my computer angry.
yea well i am atleast happy that i downloaded all of the used songs and made a cd last night. if i hadnt made the cd, and had erased kazaa before making one i would have cried.
yea well. its 2:09 and i am hoping people are going to be home soon. Marilyn was suppose to steal me after school, but i am not there, so mariyln...
if you read this...
you can still steal me. i need to get out of my house.
Isnt it nice that as i was about to get off the computer the fucking LEXPLORE thing fucking pops up! i am so mad now! it wasnt KAZAA because its still popping up. that means i just deleted my files for no reason. GR! that makes me so angry.
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[26 Sep 2002|03:23pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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Can someone just shoot me in the fucking head?
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[23 Sep 2002|09:35pm] |
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alkalinefidelity: WAIT!!
FaeryLand212: ok
alkalinefidelity: before you go, i must tell you..
FaeryLand212: ...
alkalinefidelity: pavarotti's partner is pregnant with twins.
alkalinefidelity: just thought you'd like to know.
FaeryLand212: HAHAHAHHAHA
alkalinefidelity: goodbye.
FaeryLand212: Aw lauren that is why i love you!
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[09 Sep 2002|03:02pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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i am trying so hard to be strong.
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[02 Sep 2002|06:45pm] |
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Adrienne
i am not HTML gifted, and i cannot make it pretty or anything... but...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
:o)
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[26 Aug 2002|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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"only my dreams could break this reality"
School = Shit
i have someone in almost all my classes... so that makes me happy. i dont know anyone in my computers class, but thats ok since its first hour and im not up for talking and all that. and then my psych class i know no one. blah. oh well.
I see Stef almost every hour. that makes me really happy. i miss her so much... and its just cool how i will be able to see her again. i see mandy like 4 times... and that makes me happy too. I miss mandy! hm... i see aimee twice and thats between schools... WOO WOO. stef is going to try to be a student assistant for pottery for 3rd hour so she will be in there with me. hm... i see emily a lot too. i think i see her maybe 4 times. now that i know where my classes are, which are mostly in plymouth i know i will be able to see her. i see christina too! damn, i do see a lot of people. I dont see paige, clair, jordan, or lauren though. :o( i have B lunch. that makes me sad cuz emily, aimee, paige, and clair and avis have A lunch. i want to see them. But chrsitina, stef, and lauren have B lunch... YAY! this is gonna be fun times. i really hope this year is good. i really do. so far i am starting the year of good. i am happy, yes there are complications, but still all in all i am happy.
well adrienne called and i am meeting her and dail at taco bell... YES! i want food.
EMILY AND STEVE - i hope you two have fun at the TOOL concert. make sure there is no sex going on... or me and piage will kill you!
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[01 Aug 2002|06:37pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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DAMN STRAIGHT! haha just kidding. i just thought that this quiz was funny.
i just got home from hanging out with ben. i missed him so much. we hung out at my house for awhile, then my mom took us to his house. i sighned his wall. its so cool! and we watched SLC punk. i have it, cuz we didnt finish it. he let me borrow a few cd's to burn WOO WOO! so yea, i got home cuz they had to go to his aunts house. i had fun. i hope ill be able to see him again, but i know not later this week or whatever since um.. his best friend will be there. so yea... and plus my august is sooo FULL!
3rd-9th? - NEW YORK CITY BABY!
17th-22nd - LAS VEGAS WITH ADRIENNE! WOO! its gonna kik ass!
and then school starts :o(
i really hope htis year is good. i really need a good year.
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[31 Jul 2002|03:02pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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i dont want to do nothing today.
i dont want to be alone today, i really dont.
i was suppose to hang out with christina but her mom said no. wow the one day i get lucky to hang out with my best friend and her and her mom and to get in a fight. i wont be seeing her much anymore. i mean, we are both leaving for NY, and then when she comes back she will be obsessed with jordan since they wont be able to see eachother for three weeks (which is understandable) and then i will be home for awhile, and then be going to las vegas. and hten school starts. wow! how many times have i spent with my best friend all summer... hmm.. at the most 8. i remember last summer we were with eachother EVERYDAY. it was gross, but i seriously miss it. i have spent more time with piage and clair, this summer than my own best friend. it almost seems like paige knows me better than my best friend does. i dont know. i am being stupid. i guess i am just realizing how much i havent spent time with her this summer, and how much i miss last summer.
wow. i guess i am gonna go to the library and get books. i want to start reading again, i really do. maybe then i wont be half as bored doing nothing, and it could get my mind off things. i dont want to just be laying in bed in the dark, thinking about how shitty i feel.
SICK.
tomorrow i am hanging out with lauren.. WOO WOO! i am excited, i have so much fun with her, and i am constnatly laughing, this will be good for me.
friday, i have no plans. i mean ill be going to plymouth, but other than that nope. maybe i will see if paige wants to do somehting. PAIGE!
ok i am gonna eat now.
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4everugly's journal
